Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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