That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
