id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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