You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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