I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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