we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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