I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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