At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
