Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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