and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
