Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
