the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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