Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
