it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
