Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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