Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
