they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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