the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
