What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
