well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
