Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What a fucking waste of an outfit
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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