I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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