She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize