come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
