She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The power of my boobs compel you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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