He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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