We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
