hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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