Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Randomize
