I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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