The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
