Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize