So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
