Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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