I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
