I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
