I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
