Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
