Girls should come with a carfax report
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
