margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
