I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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