Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
