all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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