Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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