stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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