It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
