I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
