..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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