i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
