I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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