i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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