i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
