hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Non-Jews are for practice
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
