I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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