I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize