This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
