I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
