he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
soo... how was my night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize