he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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