highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do vagina's smell?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
