I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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