I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
