the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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