this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
