I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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