i barfeds in our rink
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I pour the whiskey from now on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
