He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
