Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize