Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
