Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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