You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
