One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
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