Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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